I thought I would post a quick update.
In general, I'm doing well. Being back at school and having to deal with so many different things at once, has kept my mind off of mom dying. In those rare moments I have free during the day, it's hard not to think of things I want to tell mom about. Today I was thinking about my apple picking trip this weekend, and how I should call mom to tell her about it. It hit me then that mom's gone. There are days where it feels like she died (can't used passed away...she'll haunt me in a bad way.) a million years ago, but then there are others when it feels like it all happened yesterday. I'll be heading back home at the end of the month for my long weekend. Sue and I both bought tickets back in August to surprise mom, so now we're going to scatter some of her ashes and bury the rest up in Door County, where she would've wanted to be buried. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about all of this. I only know Door County as a stress-free, relaxing environment. Now all I'm going to think about, for awhile at least, is how mom's buried up there. This is going to be my first trip up there in 3 years, and it's to bury mom. That's not how it should be. It's at times like these, where I can reflect, where I tear up and miss mom. But, I know she's looking down and telling me to think of the good times we all had together.
It also helps to have a close friend here who's going through the same thing. Her dad died this past spring, so we're both experiencing things together. She has been helping me out with hard times, and I'm grateful for that. I know there are other people back home who have gone through this too, and I can always call them to talk too.
