The Last Two Days

These emails sum up the past two days. I've had a horrible time, and just want to be done with them. If it weren't for my emails back and forth with Dan during the day, I don't know what I'd do!

My email:

"I have this feeling that I won't want to come back on the 11th. These
kids have me good and worn down. I don't like ending my day wondering why
I'm a teacher, and if I should be doing something else. I stopped class
today and told them I was almost in tears (not lying here). Their
behavior was awful, and it wasn't fair to me that I couldn't teach them,
and it wasn't fair that the kids who were doing what was asked of them
couldn't learn. One of my kids who had a note sent home asked if I was
serious. Heck yeah I was serious. I'm sick of this. I want to feel like
I did when I was student teaching. You remember how I was when I was
doing that. Yeah, I complained like none other, but you could still tell
I enjoyed it. I was complaining, and then laughing. I don't usually
leave here with a laugh...if it is a laugh, it's a laugh about how awful
my kids were and maybe, MAYBE, they'll be better tomorrow.

Sorry...I just feel so worn down and crappy right now. I just want to be
done with this.

I'm still pondering about leaving, but if I leave, I won't want to come
back at 6. If I left now, I'd get home at about 4:15, and then I'd have
to leave again at like 5:30 to get here. I don't see the point in the 45
minutes at home relaxing, when I can just go home later and relax all
night.

I want to come HOME."

Response (which made me feel a LOT better...kinda brought tears to my eyes...):

"I completely understand what you're saying. Most of the time that you
were complaining during student teaching it was definitely more like, "Can
you believe [blank] did this?" or relaying completely off the wall
stories. It was easy to see you were enjoying that experience. It is sad
you have to start out your career as an educator with such a difficult
group. You're a talented individual. Know that it isn't you. It is
them. So, don't let yourself ask why you became a teacher. Don't focus
on the negatives. Look at the positives. Minus those kids who don't
listen to you, remember that you're positively affecting their lives.
There are always going to be "those" people in the world who are tools.
It is unfortunate that you have such a high concentration of them in your
class. Remember, it is them, not you. You're an exceptional teacher. If
you ever doubt that, just remember those kids in Green Bay who thrived
under you! You're a talented teacher!"


Only 2 more days and no more school for a month....